Shopping for a couples’ toy can be a fun, playful way to explore something new together, and it often brings partners closer before the toy even arrives. The most useful starting point isn’t a particular product, though. It’s an open, honest conversation between consenting adults about what you’re each curious about, what you’d love to try and what’s off the table. This guide covers how to start that conversation, the main types of couples’ toys, the practical features worth comparing and how to look after hygiene and privacy along the way.
Couples’ toys work for every kind of couple. Whatever your genders, bodies and experience, there are products designed to be enjoyed together.
Talk about preferences first
Choose a relaxed, private moment to bring up the idea, rather than in the middle of sex or straight after a disagreement. Some people find it easier to start by browsing together, sharing a link or mentioning something they’ve read about. Frame it as something to add to what you already enjoy, not a fix for something missing. A toy isn’t a replacement for a partner. It’s another way to share pleasure.
Talk about what each of you is curious about and what you’re not interested in. Are you looking for something simple, like a small vibrator to use during sex, or something more adventurous? Would you like a toy you’ll only use together, or one that either of you could also enjoy alone? Do you want something for long-distance play? You don’t need to settle every detail before you browse, but it helps to have a rough idea.
Agree on a budget, and decide together how you’ll shop. Some couples like to choose together, while others are happy for one person to pick within agreed limits. Most importantly, neither partner should feel pressured to accept a purchase or use a product because the other person chose it. Consent applies to the toy, the situation and every occasion, and either of you can change your mind at any time.
Types of couples’ toys
Wearable couples vibrators
These are designed to be worn during sex so both partners can feel the vibrations. A popular design is a flexible, C-shaped toy with one end inserted into the vagina and the other resting against the clitoris, leaving hands free. They’re one of the most popular choices for couples and are found throughout our
couples toys collection.
Vibrating cock rings
A vibrating cock ring sits at the base of the penis with a small vibrator attached. During penetrative sex, the vibrator can stimulate a partner’s clitoris or other areas, while the ring adds a snug feeling for the wearer. Browse our
cock rings, and choose a stretchy one if it’s your first. Always remove a cock ring within the time stated in its instructions, usually around 20 to 30 minutes, or straight away if there’s any pain, numbness or coldness.
Remote and app-controlled toys
Remote-control toys and
app-controlled toys let one partner control the other’s toy. Remote toys work across a room, which suits playful date nights, while many app toys can be controlled over the internet from anywhere in the world, making them a favourite for long-distance couples. Wearable
panty vibrators are a popular discreet option.
Vibrators for use during sex
You don’t need a toy labelled “couples” to enjoy one together. Small
bullet vibrators are easy to hold between bodies in many positions, while
wand vibrators offer powerful external stimulation that either partner can control. Our guide to the
types of vibrators explains how each style works.
Strap-ons
Strap-ons combine a harness and a dildo, allowing any partner to take a penetrative role. They’re popular with couples of all genders. If you’re new to them, choose an adjustable harness and a smaller, body-safe silicone dildo, and use plenty of lube.
Massage, games and sensual extras
Not every couples’ purchase needs to be a toy.
Massage oils and
massage candles are a gentle way to slow down and build intimacy. Playful
games and novelties and
card games can make it easier to talk about fantasies and try new things. For couples curious about light power play, a soft
blindfold is an easy, low-pressure place to start.
Starter kits
If you’re not sure where to begin, a
kit bundles several smaller items together so you can try a few different experiences and find out what you both enjoy.
Compare practical features
Read the product description together before buying. Check the intended use, size, materials, controls, power source and what’s included in the box. A category label like “couples” is a helpful starting point, but it doesn’t guarantee a toy will suit both of you or work in the positions you enjoy. If a listing doesn’t explain something important, ask us before you order.
Think about how the toy will actually be used:
- Who controls it? Consider whether one or both of you can reach the buttons easily, or whether a remote or app would make things simpler.
- Will it fit your positions? Slim, flexible toys tend to work in more positions than bulky ones. Think about the positions you enjoy most.
- How loud is it? If you share a home, look for toys described as quiet.
- Is it waterproof? A waterproof toy opens up shower and bath play and is easier to clean.
- How is it powered? Rechargeable toys are convenient, but make sure the battery life suits how long you like to play.
- Does the app suit you? For app-controlled toys, check which phones are supported, whether an internet connection is needed for long-distance play, and what data the app collects.
Choose the right lube
Lube makes almost every toy more comfortable, and it’s especially important for strap-on and anal play. Most couples’ toys are made from silicone, so a
water-based lubricant is the safest choice. It’s compatible with silicone toys and with latex
condoms. Avoid oil-based products if you use latex condoms, and avoid silicone-based lube with silicone toys. Our
lube guide explains every option.
Plan for hygiene and privacy
Read the manufacturer’s care instructions before your first use, and clean the toy before and after every use. Shared toys are easiest to keep hygienic when they’re made from non-porous materials such as silicone, glass or ABS plastic. If a toy is porous, use a condom over it. Always clean the toy or change the condom when moving from anal to vaginal play, as this can transfer bacteria. Our guide on
how to clean adult toys covers this in detail, and our
adult toy materials guide explains which materials are best for sharing.
If you’re ordering online, read our
discreet delivery information and
privacy policy. Consider whether order emails or saved browsing history might be visible on shared devices, and agree together on how much you’re comfortable sharing.
Keep communication open
The first time you use a new toy together, keep things relaxed and let it be a bit of an experiment. It might take a few tries to find the settings, positions and moments that work for you both, and laughing about the awkward bits is part of the fun. Check in with each other before and during use, and talk afterwards about what you liked and what you’d change.
Either partner can pause or stop at any time, and there’s no need to keep using a product that doesn’t feel right. If a toy causes pain or irritation, stop using it, and seek advice from a qualified health professional if symptoms continue. The best couples’ toy is one you both chose freely, understand and feel comfortable coming back to.
Frequently asked questions
What is a good first toy for couples?
A small bullet vibrator, a stretchy vibrating cock ring or a wearable couples vibrator are all popular first choices. They’re simple to use, easy to incorporate during sex and don’t require much experience.
How do I suggest using a toy to my partner?
Choose a relaxed moment outside the bedroom, keep it light and positive, and frame it as something fun to explore together rather than something missing. Browsing together can make the conversation easier, and it’s important to accept your partner’s answer, whatever it is.
Are there toys for long-distance couples?
Yes. Many app-controlled toys can be controlled over the internet, allowing one partner to control the other’s toy from anywhere. Some allow both partners to control each other’s toys at the same time.
Are couples’ toys only for heterosexual couples?
Not at all. Vibrators, strap-ons, remote toys, massage products and games can all be enjoyed by couples of any gender. Choose based on your bodies and preferences rather than the label.
Will using a toy replace me?
A toy is a tool, not a replacement. Many couples find that using toys together improves communication and adds variety, and that it brings them closer.
Ready to explore together? Browse our full range of
couples toys, or see what other customers love in our
best sellers.
